Ah. Hello middle school complexes, my old friend.
I’ve come to talk to you again.
About how just because your mother very reasonably pointing out that purple hair goes terribly with the color of your skin and would not match with pretty much anything in your wardrobe, added to the various other warnings she’s given you about how the colorist you were planning on using doesn’t like making people’s hair ‘unnatural’ colors is not a very good reason to call the whole project off. After all, you know very good and well your mother doesn’t care what color your hair is, and agreed that a nice dark blue or the burgundy hair you had for senior prom was or would be a nice look for you. She just also knows about your borderline obsessive fixation on purple, and was warning you against it. There is no reason at all to combine that perceived disapproval with the nervousness you feel whenever you have be mildly confrontational with someone and the anxiety you feel at having a bunch of people who are basically strangers treat you like you’re a good friend so you have to pretend you like them and want to spend time with them even though you don’t know who they are.
(Aside: most people do not entertain thoughts of switching salons because the people there know them by name and greet them like friends, in the same way people do not consider visiting frequenting new bank buildings because the bank employees recognize them and engage in friendly chats with them while doing their banking. Remember, if you push through the awkwardness for long enough, you’ll have a mental script you can run through and it won’t feel or sound nearly as awkward as it is now. Just keep going.)
Basically, this is me informing myself to reach down deep into that place where I keep my stubbornness (okay, maybe not so deep, shut up), set a plan of attack and just make that goddamn appointment already. I am nearly 100% certain it will be worth the hassle I am putting myself through, plus the humiliation of not following through after I’ve already told several people I would is just not worth it for something so silly.